I danced in the shower this morning to Bailando by Enrique Iglesias. Don’t laugh, I thoroughly enjoyed it. And this was at 4:30 AM mind you. Now let’s be clear, I’m not a good dancer. And what’s funny is that I had the nerve to be on dance team in high school. Even my parents were like, “are you sure you want to tryout for the dance team?”. Yes! I really, really wanted it. So even though I knew I wasn’t a good dancer, I tried out for the team anyway. I practiced and practiced and did that routine for what felt like hundreds of times before the final tryout. And I actually made the team!

I recently started reading a book beginning at chapter 9 simply because that’s the chapter I was most interested in. Who says I have to start at chapter one?  That may seem insignificant to you, but if you think about it, it’s the symbolism behind it. We get so caught up in doing certain things only because society or even worse, “The Jones’s”, say we have to. Who came up with this idea that we “have to” do things a certain way? Have you ever asked why you should do a certain thing only to be told because that’s the way we’ve always done it?

Seems like a weird question to ask right? Who would enjoy being a workaholic mom? If you think about it though, either we continue to work all the time because we enjoy it or we’re insane. Isn’t the definition of insanity to repeatedly do the same thing over again and expect a different result?

You don’t have to do it all. As a matter of fact you shouldn’t be doing it all. But as busy, corporate moms we think can handle it. After all, we’re handling million dollar accounts so surely we can still be the powerhouse at work, and a rockstar mom, doting wife, and committed volunteer all while looking fabulous doing it. We pride ourselves on this kinda stuff right?  “Look at me, look at how busy I am”. Somehow we equate busyness with importance or status; the busier we are, the more important or the higher the status. We use our email inbox to justify our value, but it’s really a holding place for all the things we want to respond to, but don’t actually have the time to respond to.

Diana is a corporate executive at a leading marketing firm in Chicago. She’s married with 2 kids and sits on the foundation board for the largest health system in Illinois. She’s active in church and several community organizations. She manages a full-time job, a family, and a full roster of community service. Diana works in a company dominated by men and constantly feels like she has something to prove. She wants to prove she can handle it all; work, family, community leadership, she’s got it all under control. Or does she? Does this look like she’s got it all together or do you see overwhelm, insecurity, and burnout? Do you see yourself in Diana?

Have you ever really wanted something and didn’t get it?  And not just wanted it, but worked really hard to prove you could do it, going way above what you were technically “required” to do? I have. I went well above the call of duty too. I worked my ass off at my job to prove I could do this one thing and based on my evaluations each year, I was pretty convinced I had convinced them I could do it too.  But then it came time to show just how “convincing” I was.