Yes, I said it, “You’re the reason you’re not getting what you want.” Now before you get offended, hear me out. And trust me, I’m no exception. I can talk about this because I had this same conversation with myself for the last 2 weeks. Remember, we teach what we need to learn. But back to you…Your pretty, little head is keeping you from living out your wildest dreams and not for the reasons you might you think.
There are 3 things you’re doing to prevent you from living the life you want now.
1. You focus on too many goals at one time.
Have you ever heard that saying, “jack of all trades, master of none”? That’s what focusing on too many goals can feel like. You’re diluting your effectiveness and increasing the time it takes to achieve your goals because you’re working on too many at once. We have so many things we want, so we write down all 10 goals each year and then every new year look back and realize we haven’t achieved any! Think about how much more you could achieve if you only did one thing at a time.
Focusing on the one thing at a time does not prevent you from achieving more than one goal, you actually achieve more.
You use the momentum from the achievement of the first goal to power you through the next. So the faster you achieve your goals, the more goals you achieve. There’s even a book about it…And guess what it’s called….”The One Thing.”
2. You keep talking about what you don’t want!
All day long you are telling your husband, your friends, your coworkers, your hairstylist, and quite frankly whoever will listen, what you don’t want! Think about it, how many times today have you complained about being your job or your finances or maybe even your husband? You’re so focused on what you don’t want, that you’re doing nothing to work towards what you do want. Now you might say, Dr. Cori, I want another job, have applied to several, but I haven’t been offered one yet. Or you want to be out of debt, but you don’t have any more money to help you pay off debt. You’re yelling, “I’m trying!” at the top of your lungs and getting frustrated by the second. So where is your focus? On the frustration. And that’s what you talk about. I’m not saying you can’t be frustrated, but what I am saying is that talking about it only brings you more frustration.
You’re not any closer to the life you want because you’re not actually thinking about the life you want.
You’re only thinking about your current situation and how unhappy you are. I challenge you this week to change the conversation. Trust me, your loved ones will appreciate it.
3. You have no patience.
If you decided you were going to go to medical school, you know that it would take you 4 years to become a doctor. You can be patient because you know there is a specific start and end time. When we set goals to find another job, get out of debt, or launch a business, there isn’t a specific start or end. So we get frustrated because things aren’t happening right now.
First, you need to manage your expectations.
Based on the goal and the time you have available to work on the goal, what is a reasonable timeframe to expect results? Can you break the goal into smaller steps so that you can actually see your progress? Then based on those smaller steps, plan out your timeline. Now be careful, the flip side of this is that we sometimes give ourselves longer than we need so then the steps toward the goal take too long and we fill the space with procrastination and lose faith in our ability to actually achieve the goal. The goal should feel doable but be challenging at the same time. I like 90-day goals. If we only set goals once a year, we tend to forget them or allow the goal to take too long, leading to that procrastination I talked about earlier. So set a goal based on 90 days and write out the smaller steps that lead up to achieving the goal. Checking off those smaller steps will give you little rewards along the way.
These are 3 simple shifts you can make now to get you closer to living the life you truly want. It starts today….The journey should always feel like the destination.
Stop being the reason you’re not getting what you want. Focus on one goal at a time, only speak about what you do want, and be patient. Your dreams are waiting for you. Don’t make them wait longer than they have to….