A few weeks ago I was on a flight with a couple expecting their first child. She was visibly nauseous and clearly not feeling well at all. Her husband gently stroked her back while she lay her head on the tray table. They sat in the row in front of me while behind me, there was an active 1-year-old, crying and kicking my chair. He was definitely having a hard time as most kids do on long flights. And then there’s me in middle, thinking what an interesting dynamic while also wishing that I hadn’t forgotten my headphones.
It reminded me though of my own pregnancy and that first year of my son’s life. I was extremely nauseous in my first trimester, so much so, my husband would often find me laying on the floor curled up in a ball in between our bed and the nightstand. I don’t know why I found comfort there, but that was a frequent spot for me. And then I thought back to my first plane ride with my little one when he was about 8 months and how restless he became. We would pass him back and forth between me, my husband, and my brother trying to keep him entertained. That felt like the longest plane ride ever and I have been on flights that lasted over 20 hours before.
But there were many other stressful moments during my pregnancy and that year and I remember many times thinking, this working mom thing is hard…
Back to the plane ride…
The mom behind me was trying her best to calm her son down and the mom to be in front of me was equally wishing the plane ride would end.
Finally, I tore a page out of my planner and gave it to the woman behind me along with a colored pen. I asked him to color me a picture and he eagerly agreed, and mom looked relieved. I gave the woman in front of me ginger capsules which I used to help my nausea with much relief. I still carry them or essential oils for the occasional stomach discomfort traveling can cause. She gladly accepted and later was able to fall asleep until we landed.
Yes, being a mom can be hard, and as moms, we have to help each other whenever we can.
We are our own ready-made community. We need to stop competing and judging each other and instead support and uplift one another. This culture we have of telling mothers what they should and shouldn’t do is such B.S. When we should and shouldn’t have children, where we should or shouldn’t work. How about we can do whatever the hell we want and in whatever way we want to? The more we support each other, the more we can do together. We all need a little help sometime and you’re not less of a mother if you ask for it.
If you’re looking for a community of working moms and moms-to-be, I invite you to join my free Better Habits, Better Health Facebook group. It’s a free community of working moms committed to improving their health and finding more balance in the chaos of motherhood. You don’t have to have it all figured out, you just need better habits and a supportive community.