Happy New Year! Are you ready for your best year? Seriously, if you do the work, you can make room for an amazing 2018. And speaking of work, let’s wrap up the work we started in our blog series last month.
In the first post of the series, we talked about how we say yes too often which leads to overwhelm. In the second post of the series we assessed what we have said yes to across the main categories of our lives and eliminated those tasks that weren’t part of our most important categories. If you haven’t read both those posts, go here and here before you continue. Now that we’ve cleared the clutter so to speak, you can start planning for the life you want, and what better time, but in January, the start of a new year.
I want you to work through these 3 questions.
There’s only 3, but so much can be gained from putting some real thought into these questions. Be honest with yourself, no one has to read these but you. The more honest you are, the more you can truly live out your mission to better serve your family and live an amazing life of freedom and inspiration.
What do you want?
That may seem like too simple of a question, but if you think about it, it’s probably the hardest question for you to answer. We are so distracted daily by what we don’t have, what other people have, what society says we’re supposed to have, that we honestly don’t know anymore what is most important to us. So we describe the life we want based on the external factors surrounding us or that which we are exposed to. We limit ourselves to what we think we can have and not actually what we want.
We say things like, I’m too busy, or I don’t have time for that and as a result live our lives frustrated and stressed, watching someone else live out their dreams on TV or social media. We wonder why not me and make excuses for how someone else was able to achieve their goals and why we can’t. We secretly just want to be happy, but have no idea how to have that feeling again. So find a space where you won’t be distracted by all of that and write…What do you want?
Can you care for your family living the life you want?
In my home, I’m the primary breadwinner and most of the moms I work with are also the primary breadwinners. In fact, in almost 50% of homes, moms are the primary or sole source of income for the family. So let’s be honest, on the surface, the life you want may not include working a whole lot. You would rather be more present for your family but you don’t think that’s a reality because you are primarily responsible for at least maintaining the life your family currently has. So you work yourself to death and secretly wish your spouse was the primary breadwinner so you could live a life you were excited about again.
Fear of not having enough money to care for your kids is enough to keep you stuck in that cubicle forever. You discredit your dreams and call yourself selfish for even thinking you could do something else. Half the time it’s not even about doing something else, it’s about you being emotional with the money you make. You shop because you’re frustrated that you aren’t at home with your kids. You buy that overpriced purse because it’s expected that a successful woman making good money would have a purse like that. You give expensive gifts to compensate for the lack of time you spend with your loved ones. You buy a bigger house that your husband wanted, but doesn’t pay for. You use money to cover up your guilt.
What would happen if you didn’t do that? What would happen if you reprioritized your finances? Could you get a little closer to that life you want? I’m willing to bet the answer is yes…
Who do you have to surround yourself with to get the life that you want?
Your family and friends or “tribe” as I like to call it, can advance your vision or tear it apart. And they don’t mean to, they are limited by their own experience and how they perceive the world. In short, they got their own shit to deal with. But if you’re not careful, you can let what people feel about themselves be projected on you. Your tribe might not understand how you don’t love your life. They say things like, but you make good money, as if that’s all there is. Screw the fact that you’re miserable and aren’t motivated to start every day. But that’s really them being scared how your change in employment (i.e.) money, will affect them and their lifestyle. I know you can’t get rid of your family, and you love them God bless em’, but there are aspects of your tribe that you can control. There are other moms who have similar experiences to yours, other moms who want more, and other moms who need your support too.
Get yourself in accountability groups, talk to other moms, even start your own group if you have to. You can control your tribe and be around people who encourage and uplift you. If you don’t have that now, get rid of that negativity. Don’t bring that into the new year! I am constantly surrounding myself with other strong, positive moms, sometimes by any means necessary….Feel free to reach out if you need help.
I hope this activity truly served you and provided a solid foundation for your upcoming year. Cheers to a year of peace, abundance, prosperity, and doing what the hell you want!
Make room for amazing!
Photo Credit: Suzanne Le Stage