I recently visited my family and spent some time catching up with a family friend. This particular friend has a pretty complicated marriage. His wife cheated on him and to make matters worse, she got pregnant by the other man. I know, right? Cheating is bad enough, but a baby? That’s hard to deal with…But this man loves his wife…
Despite all that she has done to him, he still loves her and wants to be married.
Sometimes love alone isn’t enough. Love without trust, intimacy, and empathy, is too shallow.
Truth be told though, he is still married to her not because he wants to be, but because he’s too scared to start over. Although he doesn’t think his situation is ideal, he would rather go with the ways things are, rather than make the difficult decision to walk away. Even in this situation, he’s too comfortable….
Now before you pass judgment, I want you to think about where you too might be “too comfortable” and unwilling to make the hard decisions.
For example, how often do we stay in situations like working a job you don’t enjoy, staying in a failed relationship, pursuing a business idea just for the money, or not starting a family because there’s no time for that right now? And the main reason behind all the excuses (yes, I used the word excuses) is nothing other than the fear of being uncomfortable. We say, “what if I’m wrong, what if this relationship doesn’t work either, what if I don’t like that job either, what if I’m not really good at that business”.
This is especially true for working moms because we feel we have too much invested and think what will this change do to our family, to our children?
While these are real concerns, it doesn’t mean you sacrifice yourself or your dreams. It’s a mindset thing that started long ago telling you that you can’t do it, that you have to follow the status quo. Who Says?!
I recently had to make some tough decisions and those decisions made me really uncomfortable. I mean really uncomfortable…But when I was honest with myself, I realized those decisions were based on what other people wanted for me or what they thought I should have. I also wasn’t making those tough decisions because I thought I was focused on my family, but in reality, I was putting a strain on my family simply because I just couldn’t decide.
See the work is sometimes just in the decision.
Once the decision is made, you might be amazed to see how things start to flow and align around that decision when you are acting in accordance with what you want and the greater purpose on your life. This is what health coaches call being internally focused. Internally focused means you don’t allow your external circumstances to dictate how you feel or the decisions you make. Unfortunately, most people are externally focused and allow what people think and their current life choices to drive their decisions.
Simply put, when you are internally focused, you make decisions based on what you want and challenge the status quo. When you are externally focused you make decisions out of fear and what keeps you comfortable.
Take some time today to really evaluate if you are living the life you want. It shouldn’t be about doing the easy thing and just staying comfortable. Personally, I want to thrive and live with no regrets. Things may not have worked out exactly how you planned, but to have regret for never trying? Well, that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.
What about you? Will you take a risk today or stay comfortable?
Photo Credit: Ashley Stevenson
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